Doing the damn digital detox (minimalism) thing

Okay alright so I'm doing this: I'm gonna be a part of the great internet digital detox experiment or something. Basically this video saying we're all gonna do this.

I'm posting this publicly because while I do not believe shame is a useful tool all the time, it is a powerful motivator for me personally sometimes. So if I fail I know all of you will be judging me and witnessing me scroll-crash out like a junkie, and I was a girl raised by a Pentecostal grandmother and did a lot of catholic schools so I need the Jesus shame of community here to do some work.

Make your trauma work for you baby.

This is supposed to be a gentle-er detox by a guy who dropped out of his HCI PhD (ironically what I've been considering applying to) but considering that it agrees with my professional training I figure I might as well try so here it goes.

The first week's document entails the process in which we will be inventorying and picking things out to cut out, BUT WITH THE PLAN TO PERHAPS INCLUDE IT IF IT'S IMPORTANT but in a limited capacity:

Step 1: Listing my vices

Instagram

Bluesky

youtube

email

podcasts

music

I actually already do a limit of bluesky and instagram and all the social medias on my phone to an hour, but I still find myself going over on the computer......

Step 2: Mental Contrasting

Here I'm supposed to uh, envision two worlds... the red pill vs the blue pill but like in the cool anti-capitalist queer way the matrix intended not the reddit way.....

World A: where Belle does not change her behavior. I am addicted to scrolling, the entire day passes by and all I have done is argue with Australians over pizza. The laundry withers in the corner, my cat is yelling, I am hungry and dehydrated. Everything is bad, I have Trump brain. I can hear his horrible voice in my head forever. I am permanently angry. I am in hell. I click repost. I keep thinking about what I wanna do then look at my phone and then another 3 hours have passed even though it feels like it was 10 minutes.

World B: Belle has completed the 30 day declutter. I effortlessly have a week's worth of outfits planned. I have finally made all of those appointments, I am not rushing to get all my stuff ready for work the next day because I have so much time I don't need to rush. I have finally finished Racecraft because my attention isn't so bad that I can handle the heady academic text. I have finished many books really, and now I can flex my knowledge all of the time. My cat is cuddling me and we have somehow figured out a way to get them to eat their wet food. My website is popping and now I know javascript somehow. I am well on my way to writing an improved Game UX framework. I have a well-oiled posting schedule for my webcomic because I actually am working on the pages.

Step 3: Identifying Triggers & Creating meaningful alternatives

This is about finding out the whyyyy to why I'm scrolling, and pinging. I've actually talked about this with my therapist recently and I think it's because I'm seeking community - not an audience - community. I have not that many irl to talk about my interests with, and when I'm intellectually under-stimulated, I tend to do shit like start arguments online or scroll to numb the boredom.

I've been trying to combat this, first off, I joined the Path to Menzobarranzan team as a UX person, and I'm hoping I can force my brain to chew on that. I've tried volunteering before in the past but life tends to get in the way, I'm far more stable now and this is something that I care about, like a lot. So I'm pretty sure it'll stick.

i. Describing the trigger moment:

I'm far too tired to get up and draw or program or any of the things I typically want to do. Instead I go decide to look at youtube, but my brain can't focus on youtube so I let it play in the background while I scroll something else entirely. I look at a bunch of posts from fucking idiots after finding something on the trending tab and block them pre-emptively, though I know I shouldn't have ever looked in the first place. Trending is where the idiots live.

ii. Rewriting the trigger moment:

I get home, my phone is in its little charging box where it cannot make its siren call to me anymore, if someone needs me, I have my watch. Instead when I am too tired to get up, I reach for the Kobo where I have already saved many educational articles, pre-loaded manga and books and read a bit of that, or exist in silence or a bit of music. I feel better and get up onto the computer where I'm able to write some code. I already have hard limits on my social media through the browser so I'm not spending 2 hours on bluesky arguing. I play BG3 and rivals instead.

iii. Boiling these stories down into a simple implementation intention

If I want to scroll, I will at least try to do it on my kobo instead, with real books and articles and something that has at least a bit of nutritional value.

If I want to do something on the computer, I will limit myself to only a half hour of scrolling on the socials with site blockers.

I will have other things to do at the ready like DS rom games on the phone

Okay alright, I will do this, and it will be sustainable this time. I might even learn how to meditate or something! Anyways, see you all soon!