Like many people, I was excited to hear Doechii's grammy award winning album - and the hit single, Denial is a River. I'd been following her since Spookie Coochie and always thought she was underrated! Suddenly everyone was talking about this book - the Artist's Way that Doechii cited as a huge inspiration and game changer, she even filmed herself doing a full set of vlogs about her experience (missing the final week, for some reason). In them she explains that she was at her last rope and about to quit before seriously taking on the program outlined in the book and stating it changed her life.
And if Doechii could do it, so could I? Maybe?
Apparently, J.Cole read the book too, but didn't finish it but swore by some of the techniques, Alicia Keys did it, Olivia Rodrigo, and Kerry Washington too! So I tried it. Last year. I didn't finish it though. I dropped off after cutting off a bunch of friends and starting a new job. (Which the book helped me do)
What is the Artist's Way?
In short it's a self-help book for creatives that details a comprehensive 12 week program for "creative recovery" and practices to take forward that will allegedly help you lead a more creative professional life and uncover what you actually wanna do, as well as move past any creative blocks.
So what's the deal?
The structure of the book is by weeks, each week focusing on a different creative hurdle to overcome and with two larger, unchanging practices you do regardless of weeks: Artist dates and morning pages. Artist dates are where you basically take some self-directed time to do something creatively enriching, ideally outside of your main creative practice. Morning pages are where you journal, with just dumping everything out of your mind, no thoughts, no stutters, she deadass even says "If you don't know what to write, you can just write 'idk what to write'" until you hit the alotted 3 pages.
Why isn't everyone doing this?
A lot of the criticism of the book comes down to two things: Julia Cameron used to be married Martin Scorsese so people just assume she nepo-babied her way into the industry, and the 12 weeks program is (somewhat) inspired by the 12 steps program of AA and does retain some features (like talk of a higher power, which I'll explain more of in a second, though it is optional.) Because of these features of the book and the writing, people put off the entirety of the book largely because cynicism and the ability to take things that work from problematic or not completely algorithmically curated content that fits their exact personal experience is a rapidly disappearing skill in modern society. (Hot take alert)
That doesn't sound like you would like it?
And surprisingly, I did.
Tell us about your experience?
Glad you asked, so I started the artist's way spring 2025, I was incredibly confused about my way in life. Lost, I knew I didn't wanna do the whole Patreon, ko-fi influencer thing. I don't want to be an internet personality. I had some clout from playing funny guy on Bluesky and hadn't found a new job, the tech industry was in shambles and I had made the executive decision that I was done with the whole, techno-feudalism thing and all that while they were running around. People around me were telling me that they did really want me to consider that I was just disabled and couldn't work. Except y'know, I called a disability lawyer and they refused to take my case. That was the second lawyer. It reminded me of my abusive ex telling me that nobody would ever want me with my disabilities.
It was triggering in and of itself, the idea that I would be reliant on anyone, even the government, this government for the rest of my fucking life. I also just knew it wasn't true.
I might be traumatized, autistic, and a woman, but I am smart, I have awards, I have survived a lot of shit.
So I embarked on a year of creative experiments, I even made a bingo card for myself. The artist's way was one of them, but I actually managed to get a job for myself, it was ironically one of the most chill jobs I've ever been at and I was praised and generally seen as a valuable member of the team. It's amazing what not living a terrible shitty racist city like Boston will do for your career. And I was bored to fucking tears. It was a job I was incredibly grateful for, could keep, and accommodated my disabilities. I had started the artist's way and one of the things it had asked me to do was really assess my friendships, around that time on that specific week, I ended up having a blow-out fight with a friend that fully ended our friendship. In large part because I had asked for them to not constantly dismiss my ideas. Her reasoning for doing so basically was that I didn't have academic or intellectual "legitimacy", and outright dismissed fanworks as not impressive or interesting despite loving.... Andy Warhol.
But I don't think I would've been able to do that without the Artist's Way. I suddenly had reason to start identifying a lot of the patterns and people that were holding me back, and not just in a therapy speak sort of way.
Confessions of an over-intellectualizer
Yeah I do that thing where I can know exactly what is wrong with my feelings, name them to symptoms in the DSM-V, and pull up academic studies from PubMed about how it shows up in my exact racial-ethnic demographic. But I can't figure out how to fix them. Or couldn't really. I'm the kind of girl that shows up to therapy and has already tried most of the things that they'd suggest (and still goes anyways, I've been in therapy for 15 years) I also grew up with a mother who is a textbook example of untreated ADHD and spiritual bypassing. This gave me a bit of allergy to surface level woo and manifestation talk. It's kind of hard to explain, I worked as a tarot reader on and off on a line for years. (imagine the worst customer service job ever but for the spirits.) I also have up until recently only ever dated engineers, PhDs in pharmacology, programmers. I have hackathon awards and was a tech girlie for a reason.
I'm kind of like the catholic priest who proposed the big bang theory, or the father of modern rocket science who also ran a black magic sex cult with the founder of scientology.
If you're smart enough you can generally still be open enough to try the bullshit regardless of your reservations from a scientific perspective.
It's basically all CBT, DBT, and Zen Buddhism anyways.
When reading the book though, I had a pretty quick realization: It's just C/DBT stuff, but for artists. I noticed this when she made mention of one concept: The inner critic. Which is featured extensively in a book regarded as one of the gold standards for CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Wish it was recommended over The Body Keeps the Score for more people, which asks me to feel bad for a guy who had ptsd who raped people during war.
This is my favorite and most helpful book I've ever read on mental health, practical, it put into words the hows and whys of why the fuck I act like this, and gives a treasure trove's worth of resources and techniques even if you can't access a therapist.
My only problem with it is for some reason I wasn't able to apply many of the techniques consistently, so when I realized that the program was functionally asking me to do CBT/DBT work, emotional distress tolerance, and mindfulness - all of which I've fucking struggled with for many years, I was all win. God talk or woo or fucking not. That's what is likely cliquing for people.
Truth is when I took a DBT class, I fucking fell asleep snoring after the 60th acronym. I saw Marsha Lineman's story of DBT and thought it was really inspirational but fuck if I am gonna remember all those damn acronyms when I'm having an anxiety attack or tweaking out crying at my desk.
I suck ass at meditation, unless it's active, and I gave up keeping a diary years ago after repeated privacy invasions or straight up lack of privacy. The artist's way basically makes you interrogate all of those things and peel back the layers of trauma that actually make up the onion of your trauma personality so you can actually rediscover your preferences and be open to new ways and things that might benefit you. It teaches you how to withstand the feeling of failure in creative endeavors.
My "Who am I without this industry that I dedicated a decade of my life to that turned out to be run by the absolute worst people on the planet who rape kids and poison black people" turned into "actually I somehow did get a job by posting about vampire elves and it's pretty fun actually"
After a few months, despite quitting after starting my new job, I had gained so many skills and ideas while doing it, I started pecking away at various projects, like starting this blog where my on DA somehow blew the fuck up. I'll be honest I wasn't prepared for the attention that bought. Nor did I particularly like it. I'm grateful that people liked my writing I guess but it quickly bought attention from bad actors, like the harassment campaign that was bought on me on Christmas Eve, likely incited by someone formerly close to me.
Whatever the fuck that was, I didn't want my income tied that closely to being a "hot take maker". And so I went and did what the book had suggested and took as many opportunities that were offered to me, which is when I applied to a random instagram ad for a supposedly prestigious professional development class for creatives. I checked everything, seemed hella legit and the program was real. I got in. Started January, apparently. They said I could submit any creative work. Instead of leaning on my pedigree in UX so much for once, I applied with my Vampirella fanart and my essay on Deviantart. I withheld my website though. Lest it be a little bit too much.
Take 2: the 2026...ening.
I endeavored to try the book again, so I did. I found a group that wanted to do it, and it was a lot of people that I just... unfortunately didn't vibe with.
Dejected, I still reread the first chapter where it said to watch out for synchronicities - and a few weeks later started my professional development program, where someone, who ironically has the same birthday as me and is also a massive Sailor Moon fan bought a busted up copy of the artist's way and said they've been trying to do it for years. Synchronicity clocked.
And so I restarted, technically a third time, the 12 weeks sort of stretched into about 4 months. Some "weeks" lasted 14-20 days. I found myself calling making bedrooms and collages artist dates.
Also I was working M-F 9-5 and also doing consulting, and also volunteering, and showing up across the city on Saturdays and on tuesdays and Thursdays after my 9-5 for a 6-10pm for professional development with projects with that professional development. I did my morning pages at 11pm a lot of days. I wrote them on the train.
But I did them.
how this shit had me feeling while i was doing those artist dates sometimes
Bout to say the shit that you're not supposed to say I guess.
It's not the most fun thing, it's hard. All of it was hard. Shit got fucking dark sometimes, I'd write about a specific trigger and trauma related to my creative development only to have that shit triggered, sometimes by the exact same people, literally sending me actual threats, some weeks.
But the truth is, if you want to do it you will.
There's nothing else really to say here. There's a lot of criticism, saying that Cameron is unrelatable and it made them not want to finish the book, because they're poor and they can't relate to her but I don't really believe that's the truth when people say that's why they can't finish the book. Obviously y'all seent me talk about income inequality, theory, all of that. And all of that still stands, but for fuck's sake, Engles owned a factory. Y'all still watch these arts influencers who are clearly nepo-babies posting from 10k a month apartments.
Truth is, that if you do actually read the FAQ of the book they do explain many times that the book expects you to be imperfect, the book even outright says you'll fuck up on keeping the practices and asks you to reflect on the hows and whys.
I remember in one case while I was in the thick of this, I had a fucking meltdown, a real autism meltdown, the kind where you're screaming, hitting yourself, crying, shaking with overwhelm. Something that hadn't happened since I was 21. I am more a cry in the bathroom get under the weighted blanket autistic these days. It was terrifying even to myself. But I realized I was actually expressing myself for once. I was overworking myself to prove to people that didn't even care about me as a person that I was worth it, it was some real internalized ableism and racism and sexism shit.
And then there was the chapter about how people who overwork themselves to escape actually creating and snuffing out their inner child.
oops.
The good parts
The book actually teaches you not just how to tear your trauma apart looking for trauma to point at and be like THAT'S IT THAT'S WHY I'M BROKEN, it also actually teaches you how identify people and things that are supporting you, and to open yourself up to new opportunities. I thought there probably wasn't going to be new opportunities for me. But sure enough, by actually following through, opportunities started flowing... a trickle, then a steady river. I wrote my blog, that turned into a paid writing opportunity for someone else. Soon enough, I was asked to come do consulting, so I did. Then I was asked if I wanted to try something different. Creative direct a shoot, write the brief, pick the models, there photographer was there. And yeah I did.
It's finally here! ⚡️ Narrative Beats is our new art reference series made with comics & story telling in mind. Sequential frames so you get the full movement, dynamic lighting, casual slice of life poses, story telling beats, everything you've been asking for! Check it out: bit.ly/4u8Om7E
There I was, scared shitless on set, never having touched a camera or big lighting or anything. But I did now have experience looking at briefs and strategy due to my professional development, where I had spent weeks visiting some of the most prestigious creative agencies in the world and working on projects with big companies. And it worked, the people liked it.
That's kind of the best part of the artist's way, getting you to actually be able to say yes to shit that will be good for you, because you actually learn how to identify shit that's good for you and that you actually wanna do.
Timidly, scared, I started saying that I was a creative director. I am many things, this blog is named Multi-hyphenate after all. I would've said no before, if asked to do something as big as directing a shoot with no experience. In an ironic twist, a synchronicity, as the book says, I was asked outright just 2 days before, by professional mentors if, due to my disabilities I would consider if being in the creative industries was something that I really wanted to do, with my disabilities and my difficulties in social interaction. I realized they were well-meaning, and not doubting me, but it still stung a part of my heart. Another mentor asked for me to reflect if I was actually good at leading people if I was constantly having issues with others in group dynamics.
After the shoot I went out to dinner in the infamous Bushwick probably the artist oasis, where me and the model spoke and they gushed to me how much they had enjoyed working with me and I went over research with the Trueref co-founder and photographer to better inform our shoots in the future. I then went on to speak to everyone in my other non-professional projects I had worked with how I worked with them. I actually received mostly great feedback but they explained something in my communication style that could upset people or confuse them that led to a breakthrough in how I presented myself. And I realized that I do actually want to do this, and I belonged here.
It's a powerful supplement to mental health stuff if you combine them
I work with a therapist and psych, thankfully. Though I off insurance for some years, I maintained my relationship with my therapist and actually worked with her talking through some of the things that came up with the artist's way. My therapist also does art therapy (mostly for children) so it worked out. She hadn't done the artist's way but it did help. I had finally gotten a psych back, and after my severe autism meltdown explained in between tears how severe my meltdowns were becoming and she offered to give me back the one anxiety medication that had been taken away from me many years ago by another psych. Who stated that I could either have my ADHD meds or have my anxiety meds. I didn't realize asking again was an option.
Basically: do you wanna be productive or do you wanna be happy and calm?
I choose productivity, of course. That's like a metaphor for my entire life.
She explained to me that my previous psych was basically full of shit and that was an odd thing to say to someone who in their psych report had such severe and obvious PTSD. For once I didn't have to choose.
My point is here though, I think that you don't gotta throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to mental health treatment and doing something like this. In another synchronicity, or medical case, pick whatever term you want. I was suddenly doing much better because I had an "off" button for my anxiety. But without the artist's way I wouldn't have examined the "why" for my anxiety, leaving me in some really bad spots if I ever lose insurance again. I was able to actually have practical insight on my triggers, how to avoid them, how I liked to work, and what environments could thrive in because of the artist's way largely because of the tools it taught me. Funny enough I haven't had any really bad anxiety attacks in weeks anyways now. But at least I have several chemical and mental backup plans.
Conclusion and should you do it?
In the last two weeks of the book lined up with both my 31st birthday and the end of my professional development for creatives that ended in a professional showcase for work. It took place in a beautiful famous building that without identifying too much was modeled after the famous cathedral next to it. After that week, I was doing a bit of genealogy work and stumbled on an interesting article about the Gullah and Black Pentecostal practices of "Seeking", which are where my ancestry draws from. My great grandfather was a famous Pentecostal preacher, and all. Basically, when someone gets spiritually touched, they go basically inward sometimes as far as to be completely separated from community. This period is supposed to be a spiritual time where the person becomes in touch with their own gifts, it's often difficult, and at the end of these traditions, the person comes to their community elders and is validated and welcomed into the spiritual community.
The day of my professional development showcase was a few days after my birthday, I couldn't help but notice it looked exactly like an altar of a church. With glassed stained windows adorned with saints, and the same uncomfortable seats. I often, ask my ancestors for help, as one from the Caribbean might lol, and a sign that they were with me. Couldn't have asked for a better one, when I went up to get called, and display my work, I noted, the people who were there for me, the congratulations that I had hoped to hear from certain people in my life, only to hear crickets. It was a damning and bittersweet moment as I received cheers from my mentors and those in my program.
As a part-time woo girly. (I'm not the kind of person to ask your sun sign, I will ask for your DOB, birthplace, and pull the 500 arabic lots on your chart as well as asteroid positions btw.) I couldn't help but look the astrology of the moment and also note that I was also officially out of the "shadow" of my Saturn return (ifykyk). I am Saturn ruled, btw, it is the considered the "great malefic", the restrictor. It is also said to by some astrologers, considered a planet associated with autism lol. In fact, I saw an astrologer, list out aspects they associated with "High functioning autism" and I had 4 out of 5 of them..... and they were all Saturn aspects.
So imagine, my surprise when I received a Vivienne Westwood necklace the next day, a classic Westwood orb necklace my boyfriend gifted me for my birthday and found out the origin of the famous logo, getting a pull to look it up. Turns out, it's literally Saturn itself, meant to combine the classic with the punk, technology and revolution and ancestry and tradition and innovation.
Since then, I've got paid work trips across the country, I'm not gonna say I'm rich (haha I'm REALLY NOT) but for once I'm not worried about dreading work or getting fired. I do things I never get to do and have spoken to so many people I've admired. I found a place for myself that's not e-begging on the fucking internet. And there's a lot of moving pieces here that helped, but this book is the glue that helped me actually make it all work. I just say you should try it, fuck it what do you gotta lose?
one last note about Doechii
I ended up looking up her vlogs, and realized the reason there's no ending vlog to the artist's way is because it lines up right around when she recorded and released Spookie Coochie, which is when and how I found her.